Earthquakes, earthquakes and more earthquakes.
If you spend time in Japan you will experience an earthquake – this is as certain being offered natto, being praised for your chopstick use, or, whilst driving, having to dodge old ladies as they guide their walkers on random paths.
Tsukublog has a very useful post on Preparing Your Family for Earthquakes, and if you live here it is well worth reading. Follow their advice and you shouldn’t go too far wrong.
Point 3 of Tsukublog’s post recommends that you make an emergency pack to tide you through the aftermath of the disaster. I for my part would like to suggest 9 things that any decent space cadet shouldn’t leave home without during an emergency.
1. A Towel
All true space cadet’s will know the origin of this one: Douglas Adam’s classic Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. In Japan towels come in many forms and can be used for a wider range of things than in the aforementioned Guide. We would suggest you use what the locals call a tennugui. They can be used to make a handy 42 Below Vodka bottle carrier for picnics, to wrap up ones lunch boxes, as a hat, soaked in water to keep you cool, to fix your geta, as a bandage or as an apron. After the earthquake, when you are hanging out with the locals waiting for the Japanese self defense forces to rescue you, it can be used in place of paper: get one of your neighbors to teach you origami or paper folding with it.
2. The Collected Works of Marcel Proust
Of course, we don’t expect you to actually read these. No-one we know has read the collected works of this most verbose of French legends. And no-one they know has read them either. However, with the collected works of Marcel Proust you will have a ready supply of both toilet paper and paper with which to start fires. As an added advantage, whenever some pretentious arty type (like the author of this blog) brings up French literature you will be able to swirl your cognac elegantly in your glass and say, ‘Ah, Proust… his collected works carried me through that earthquake back in 20–.’
3. Rhombus
You will need music, and while we would suggest an ipod or some other mp3 player, there is the distinct possibility your batteries will run flat. So why not go one step further and bring along your own band or two. Hell you can even hold a charity concert to start raising funds for reconstruction. To kick things off we would recommend Rhombus,(flash website – sorry ’bout dat!) a New Zealand reggae, dub hip-hop group. They really rock and don’t require batteries! Also worth checking out is Kora. They doubly-triply rock!
4. XXXX
Next is an ample supply of XXXX. But of course you knew that! What self respecting space cadet would be without XXXX! And we don’t mean beer. New Zealanders can spell beer!
5. Inflatable Paddling Pool
This is a summer special – relax in your own inflatable paddling pool. You will have to be careful the old men from the district don’t try and wash their singlets in there. Ick. As an added bonus it can be used to keep item number 7 cool. Other uses include: hanging from a tree by string and photographing from a distance – think of all the money that you will make of your UFO sighting in the quake disaster zone! British tabloids will publish anything…
6. 12 Dozen Roses / Jars of Marmite
The human spirit is strong and diversity is no reason to forget romance. 12 dozen roses or a case of marmite for your loved one will help them forget the situation, steel {sic or not? ed.} their heart, and other cliches spurned by Umberto Eco.
7. A Case (or four) of 42 Below Vodka
42 Below Vodka is the most famous brand of vodka that hasn’t consciously registered with you yet. 42 Below Vodka comes in flavours you haven’t consciously registered yet but would like too. 42 Below Vodka is your friend. The portable paddling pool likes 42 Below Vodka. 42 Below Vodka was the inspiration for the Pan-galactic Gargle Buster. 42 Below Vodka isn’t paying for what seems like unadulterated advertising. My birthday is coming reasonably soon, so if they want to send me a bottle they can get my address by sending me a message through the contact page. You want to order a manuka flavoured 42 Below Vodka. If the bar you go to doesn’t stock 42 below vodka you are in the wrong bar. Go to a bar that stocks 42 Below Vodka. Order a 42 Below Vodka.
8. Water Blaster Cannon
You may not be able to carry this on a plane anymore, but a water blaster cannon is humankinds best friend. Water your plants with it. Liven up neighborhood meetings. You can even drink from it if you are really flexible. But best of all, if it is really realistic you can smear your face with dirt, put flowers in your hair and pretend to be Arnold Schwarzenegger fighting off marauding looters. Sound like fun?
9. Miscellaneous
The following would also be of use after such a disaster: a house (I would quite like a castle), a bank (not too fussy on origins), a helicopter, soap bubble blower, a yacht (42 foot?) and the machine that goes ping. That should about do the trick.
Well, that is my list. Did you read Tsukublog’s very useful post on Preparing Your Family for Earthquakes? If you haven’t, then maybe you should! In case you haven’t noticed, this post is not altogether serious. No disrespect is meant to people who have experienced earthquakes or other natural disasters. Is 42 Below Vodka better than being prepared? Well, they are both important - so our advice is to prepare now and drink soon after!
What would you include in your list of stuff for the Space Cadet’s Earthquake Preparation Kit?
Kea JAPAN is honored to host an event with Brian Martin, Chairman of Japan New Zealand Business Council
Pretty strange 
A small New Zealand Brewery had a laptop stolen earlier this week and in a bold move are offering a life time supply of beer (well 12 bottles a month) for anyone who can name the thief.
I was very glad to get a copy of Lloyd Jones’ Mr Pip earlier this week. I 
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