Blizzardboy | A Kiwi in Japan » New Zealand

Goodbye Pork Pie Medley

Simon — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:50:41 +0000

A nice little collection of Goodbye Pork Pie videos courtesy of youtube. Released internationally in 1981, Goodbye Pork Pie is a classic New Zealand road movie, which is sometimes compared to Easy Rider. Here is the trailer:

It has always been one of my favourite New Zealand films. Classic Kiwiana.

Here is the Wellington car chase scene. Eat your heart out James Bond!

Now, I am wondering where I can find a mini in Tokyo. And a haircut like that (working on that one).

And here is a remake. Bet you never thought you would see a Goodbye Pork Pie Part 2.

And another homage video this time on the Kaiikanui Hill (Northland, NZ) (resplite with graphic possum carnage, but no fish’n'chips):

Classic. But I have to dash. Have a ferry to catch.

Staff Needed for Gourmet Burger Bar That Needs Staff

Simon — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 15:22:51 +0000

This picture popped up on popurls (via reddit) and I thought it was too delicious not to post.

The photo was taken by Noface2 and the original can be found here.

That sense of humour is something I do miss about New Zealand. Here in Japan I have never seen a job post anything like that. Hope they find a good burger flipping existentialist.

And who said flipping burgers was a bad job?

Hat-tip to Kiwiology

Simon — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 00:22:38 +0000

Shouts to the team at Kiwiology for adding this blog to their directory of New Zealand blogs. Ka pai!

Kiwiology is…

Kiwiology is a directory of kiwi blogs – the stuff that makes up the New Zealand blogosphere.

Blog topics include, but are not limited to:

New Zealand blogs, Kiwis blogging overseas, blogs about New Zealand politics, the environment and sustainability in New Zealand (or by people based in New Zealand), New Zealandâ€™s economy, Kiwi businesses and business topics, New Zealand issues and current events and kiwisâ€™ personal blogs.

Recent blogs (as of this posting) added to kiwiology include:

Bwagy | Marketing Blog

Blizzardboy A Kiwi in Japan

Our Sport

Oswald Bastableâ€™s Ranting

PhotoForum NZ

nothing better to do

OutdoorKnit

Frank Observations

Dead Sharks

NZ Tramping

Also, if you have a New Zealand related blog, or would like to suggest one, you can add it here.

Somewhere Down Under!

Simon — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 11:21:05 +0000

Went shopping this afternoon, to the Yamaya supermarket in Aoyama-1chome, and was quite bemused to come across this sign in their wine corner. The flag on the top is the Australian flag, then it says New Zealand under the flag, and written vertically in Japanese is… Australia!

Not sure how they ended up with that sign, but surely New Zealand needs a new flag… and Australia could probably do with a new one as well!

By the by, we couldn’t find any penne pasta, and other shops seem to be out of it as well. Prices for other types of pasta are up as well. Global warning leads to anti-penne pandemic anyone?

Other Random Posts from Blizzardboy. Enjoy:)

Panda Injured in New Zealand – China to send Bamboo Rescue Division

Simon — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 01:23:36 +0000

Pretty strange piece of news this morning in the Christchurch Press. It appears that someone dressed up in a panda costume was involved in a hit and run and unfortunately a woman, quite unconnected to the said panda was injured during the incident.

Will the People’s Republican Army be mobilised? Will there be an initial bamboo relief supply drop over Christchurch?

Panda impersonator sought after hit-and-run
By JO McKENZIE-McLEAN – The Press | Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Police are on the look-out for an injured panda impersonator who was involved in a hit-and-run in Christchurch.

A person dressed as a panda, hanging out a front passenger window, was one of up to four occupants of a car that ploughed into a pedestrian without stopping at 2.25am on Saturday in Riccarton.

Constable Moira Wyeth said the woman was getting into her white Toyota Vitz, which was parked on the west side of Riccarton Road beside a dairy near Wainui Street when she was struck from behind.

“As she partially opened her door she was hit in the back by a vehicle.”

The impact of being hit caused the woman to be thrown into the front seat and her front driver’s door was ripped off.

The woman, who was alone, sustained back injuries. A passerby waved police down.

The vehicle is described as a red, four-door sedan, mid-1990s and last seen heading west on Riccarton Road.

There was a blonde woman sitting in the back seat, and the panda possibly sustained upper body injuries, Wyeth said.

Anyone with information should contact Wyeth on (03) 3637400 or contact her via email: moira.wyeth@police.govt.nz

Photo taken from Cousin Bujur’s From America to Turkey Blog. The entry with the Panda costume photos is here. Ã‡ok teÅŸekkÃ¼r ederim!

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Beer for Life!

Simon — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:16:34 +0000

A small New Zealand Brewery had a laptop stolen earlier this week and in a bold move are offering a life time supply of beer (well 12 bottles a month) for anyone who can name the thief.

Who would do such a dastardly thing? I hope they catch the thief and make him (or her but lets face it, him) drink fosters for the rest of his life. That will serve as a stronger lesson than anything the courts can send down.

Sounds like a great reward – and I hope the Croucher Brewing Company of Rotorua get their laptop back!

Brewery offers lifetime supply of beer for laptop

A New Zealand brewery is reportedly offering a lifetime supply of beer for the return of a stolen laptop.

The laptop was allegedly stolen from the Croucher Brewing Company in Rotorua earlier this week.

Owners were desperate to retrieve the computer containing designs, contact details and financial information, the Rotorua Daily Post said.

They have offered free beer to anyone giving clues leading to its recovery.

Co-owner Paul Croucher said the company would provide a lifetime supply of about 12 bottles a month to anyone who could name the thief.

The company has back-up copies of the material stored on the laptop but these are not up to date, the newspaper said.

Other Random Posts from Blizzardboy. Enjoy:)

Mr. Pip: a Great Read

Simon — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 06:45:35 +0000

I was very glad to get a copy of Lloyd Jones’ Mr Pip earlier this week. I mentioned Mr. Pip briefly in an earlier post, and with the awards ceremony for The Man Booker Prize just around the corner I thought it might be nice to give Mr. Pip the once-over.

The Man Booker Prize is the world’s leading book award and has been won previously by a New Zealander with South Island author Keri Hulme picking up the prize in 1985 for her classic novel The Bone People. Unlike the Nobel Prize for Literature, the Man Booker Prize focuses on choosing the greatest novel of the year, so if Mr. Jones were to pick it up for Mr. Pip it would be an honour indeed.

Mr. Pip is a delightful read. It is a story told through the world of Matilda, a child growing up on the Papua New Guinean Island of Bouganville. Named by the Australians who controlled the extremely valuable and productive copper mines on the islands, Matilda’s story brings us right down to earth at the very juncture between many different memes. During the period the story is set in – the 1990’s – the island was blockaded by the Papua New Guinea government as the island was rollicked by war.

Themes of innocence versus power, the effects of industry on an island people, intelligence versus christianity drive this book in a delicate and informed way that both intrigues and stimulates the mind. It would be easy given the themes that this book deals with to drop into glibbly patronizing the characters but Lloyd deals with the themes in an elegant manner that inspires the reader.

Those of you familiar with English dinosaurs may recognize the character from the title – Mr. Pip – as being drawn from Dickens’ Great Expectations. Mr Pip as a novel works in layers and the Dickensian Mr. Pip is several of these. On the island there is only one white man – a certain Mr. Watts who ends up teaching the children. Untrained as a teacher he teaches in a ‘novel’ way – by reading Mr. Pip to the kids. But in a sense he also becomes Mr. Pip. I really enjoyed the way this layering creates a sort of palimpsest enticing the reader to dig between the layers to create their own meanings and interpretations.

This book conjures up images of author such as Gabriel Garcia Marquez and The Unbearable Lightness Of Being’s Milan Kundera. It does, very slightly miss the lightness that makes A Hundred Years of Solitude such a magnificent read. I think Jones is on the verge of greatness – perhaps just one novel away from creating his own masterpiece.

For a rating I will give it nine carriages of drunken salary-men on the Yamanote line out of ten.

There is a nice review from Australia’s The Age here (thats where I got the photo) and if you want to pick up a copy from Amazon then click here.

Other Random Posts from Blizzardboy. Enjoy:)

The Space Cadet’s Earthquake Preparation Kit

Simon — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 13:09:19 +0000

Earthquakes, earthquakes and more earthquakes.

If you spend time in Japan you will experience an earthquake – this is as certain being offered natto, being praised for your chopstick use, or, whilst driving, having to dodge old ladies as they guide their walkers on random paths.

Tsukublog has a very useful post on Preparing Your Family for Earthquakes, and if you live here it is well worth reading. Follow their advice and you shouldn’t go too far wrong.

Point 3 of Tsukublog’s post recommends that you make an emergency pack to tide you through the aftermath of the disaster. I for my part would like to suggest 9 things that any decent space cadet shouldn’t leave home without during an emergency.

1. A Towel

All true space cadet’s will know the origin of this one: Douglas Adam’s classic Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. In Japan towels come in many forms and can be used for a wider range of things than in the aforementioned Guide. We would suggest you use what the locals call a tennugui. They can be used to make a handy 42 Below Vodka bottle carrier for picnics, to wrap up ones lunch boxes, as a hat, soaked in water to keep you cool, to fix your geta, as a bandage or as an apron. After the earthquake, when you are hanging out with the locals waiting for the Japanese self defense forces to rescue you, it can be used in place of paper: get one of your neighbors to teach you origami or paper folding with it.

2. The Collected Works of Marcel Proust

Of course, we don’t expect you to actually read these. No-one we know has read the collected works of this most verbose of French legends. And no-one they know has read them either. However, with the collected works of Marcel Proust you will have a ready supply of both toilet paper and paper with which to start fires. As an added advantage, whenever some pretentious arty type (like the author of this blog) brings up French literature you will be able to swirl your cognac elegantly in your glass and say, ‘Ah, Proust… his collected works carried me through that earthquake back in 20–.’

3. Rhombus

You will need music, and while we would suggest an ipod or some other mp3 player, there is the distinct possibility your batteries will run flat. So why not go one step further and bring along your own band or two. Hell you can even hold a charity concert to start raising funds for reconstruction. To kick things off we would recommend Rhombus,(flash website – sorry ’bout dat!) a New Zealand reggae, dub hip-hop group. They really rock and don’t require batteries! Also worth checking out is Kora. They doubly-triply rock!

4. XXXX

Next is an ample supply of XXXX. But of course you knew that! What self respecting space cadet would be without XXXX! And we don’t mean beer. New Zealanders can spell beer!

5. Inflatable Paddling Pool

This is a summer special – relax in your own inflatable paddling pool. You will have to be careful the old men from the district don’t try and wash their singlets in there. Ick. As an added bonus it can be used to keep item number 7 cool. Other uses include: hanging from a tree by string and photographing from a distance – think of all the money that you will make of your UFO sighting in the quake disaster zone! British tabloids will publish anything…

6. 12 Dozen Roses / Jars of Marmite

The human spirit is strong and diversity is no reason to forget romance. 12 dozen roses or a case of marmite for your loved one will help them forget the situation, steel {sic or not? ed.} their heart, and other cliches spurned by Umberto Eco.

7. A Case (or four) of 42 Below Vodka

42 Below Vodka is the most famous brand of vodka that hasn’t consciously registered with you yet. 42 Below Vodka comes in flavours you haven’t consciously registered yet but would like too. 42 Below Vodka is your friend. The portable paddling pool likes 42 Below Vodka. 42 Below Vodka was the inspiration for the Pan-galactic Gargle Buster. 42 Below Vodka isn’t paying for what seems like unadulterated advertising. My birthday is coming reasonably soon, so if they want to send me a bottle they can get my address by sending me a message through the contact page. You want to order a manuka flavoured 42 Below Vodka. If the bar you go to doesn’t stock 42 below vodka you are in the wrong bar. Go to a bar that stocks 42 Below Vodka. Order a 42 Below Vodka.

8. Water Blaster Cannon

You may not be able to carry this on a plane anymore, but a water blaster cannon is humankinds best friend. Water your plants with it. Liven up neighborhood meetings. You can even drink from it if you are really flexible. But best of all, if it is really realistic you can smear your face with dirt, put flowers in your hair and pretend to be Arnold Schwarzenegger fighting off marauding looters. Sound like fun?

9. Miscellaneous

The following would also be of use after such a disaster: a house (I would quite like a castle), a bank (not too fussy on origins), a helicopter, soap bubble blower, a yacht (42 foot?) and the machine that goes ping. That should about do the trick.

Well, that is my list. Did you read Tsukublog’s very useful post on Preparing Your Family for Earthquakes? If you haven’t, then maybe you should! In case you haven’t noticed, this post is not altogether serious. No disrespect is meant to people who have experienced earthquakes or other natural disasters. Is 42 Below Vodka better than being prepared? Well, they are both important - so our advice is to prepare now and drink soon after!

What would you include in your list of stuff for the Space Cadet’s Earthquake Preparation Kit?

Other Random Posts from Blizzardboy. Enjoy:)

Kiwi Pumpkin Bumpkins!

Simon — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 11:20:15 +0000

Having a look around for ideas for dinner and stumbled upon nzkabocha.com. Kabocha is the Japanese word for pumpkin, and this looks to be a site promoting the beauty and opulence of the Aotearoan ball of gold. Ok, I wish them luck with their marketing, but is this something that we really want to add to kiwifruit and sheep as the image of New Zealand?

Don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against pumpkin (nor for that matter kiwi fruit, especially if they have been soaked in gin for at least 6 months). But sheep! Odorous animals with IQ’s lower than the average South African front row. People of the world! New Zealand is not famous for sheep! England is famous for sheep!

I hope Lloyd Jones wins the Booker Prize with his wonderful Mr. Pip. That would be one small step in rescuing New Zealand from the evils of the Demeterian tryad!

Other Random Posts from Blizzardboy. Enjoy:)

Kendrick Smithyman Online

Simon — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 09:29:08 +0000

I was browsing around for something else, when I came across a wonderful site with the collected works of Kendrick Smithyman. He was a New Zealand poet who passed away in 1995. I always enjoyed his work, particularly the steadiness of his voice. There is something haunting about his work in the way that it invokes an era of New Zealand history.

Quite an amazing effort to render his poetry into an online format, especially considering the works are mostly still under copyright. Still I am sure that he would have liked knowing that anyone in the world with an internet connection was able to browse his writing.

Here is my favourite poem by him:

READING THE MAPS AN ACADEMIC EXERCISE

All grid co-ordinates on this sheet are in terms of

false origins

Today when I was leaving you were gone

to the Library, hunting. So I couldnâ€™t say

what I wanted to say. No matter.

At nine I phoned about the mice and rats

which infest us, and departmental cats.

Are they procurable or not? No matter.

On the wall in front of my table are four

map sheets of Hokianga. One weakly faded,

the main part of a research scheme gone

mainly own the drain. Even when bought

it did not tell the truth (if truth I sought)

about that district. Some roads were gone

already, some were petered out to tracks,

some only projected. I quibble. It was truth

I pressed after to the blazing four

dusty points of the local compass, ground

by ground hunting for Mahimai and found

how legend bred him still, not one but four,

five or more versions of his Life and Times

in their ways different but yet held true for some

around those parts. Theyâ€™ve not roads, mere tracks

in scrub or scruffy bush, beaten, halfway lost,

uncertain where they go, or stay. What cost

to follow them? What gains? Tracks are just tracks.

Or legends of them, getting nowhere much;

otherwise, fictions of any parishâ€™s mild dreams

mounted towards a future where times

would not work out of joint. Those sad dreams ailed

materially, the vision in them failed,

Sailed off like so much junk caught up in Timeâ€™s

hard-driving westerlies or blustering tides,

dumped among mangroves, slumped like driftwood on water

frontages. â€œThe tourist will find much

To interest him, from â€¦â€ From here to there,

hunting or haunted. Finding, found out where

roads disappear or donâ€™t amount to much.

Like schemes which I may think of, truth to tell.

No matter â€“ no, that isnâ€™t true. Dusty, bitter

our ways work out, crudely move like tides,

nonetheless turn; comes turnabout in flow

and ebb, they matter. Down at the Head glow

finely the dunes. Promise still rides the tides.

TO GIVE GRID REFERENCES ON THIS SHEET

[SCAN]

Now I know where I stand, where I stood.

Within limits. All grid coordinates on this sheet are

true only in terms of false origin.

Leave the highway just past a store

almost opposite this shortcut through the gorge.

You want to bear west beyond the store,

back of the district high school. As you go

you raise an abandoned church (which is here)

with a small marae. Shortly, the river.

Follow its bank for a bit, until

a farmerâ€™s yard, between the cowbail and pigpens.

So drive slowly. Youâ€™ll need to.

The map says the road ends there. Not true.

You are now right under a stone face.

See the quarry sign? Drive

into the quarry, keeping to the hill side

(because of a fall on the other hand to the river).

You skirt a shoulder. Look for an unformed road

lifting suddenly, steep. But get over the crest,

youâ€™re on top of packed sand.

Carry on to the Head. You cross

the old tramway which used to go up to

the Harbour, remains of the one time main road

to gumfields (south of the river and this next

river) out from the edge of the Forest. It went on

down the coast, then climbed inland on the line

Of a Maori trail. Of course, the map doesnâ€™t

say anything about that. Maps can

tell you about what is supposedly present.

They know little about whatâ€™s past and only

so much about outcomes. They work within

tacit limits. Theyâ€™re not good at predicting.

If everything is anywhere in flux

Perhaps we may not read the same map twice.

A DEFENCE OF RYME

Nor must we thinke, viewing the superficiall figure of a

region in a Mappe that wee know strait the fashion and

place as it is. Or reading an Historie (which is but a Mappe

of men, and dooth no otherwise acquaint us with the true

Substance of Circumstances, than a superficiall Card dooth

the Seaman with a Coast neuer seene, which alwayes

prooues other to the eye than the imagaination forecast it)

that presently wee know all the world, and can distinctly

iudge of times, men and manners, iust as they were.

Samuel Daniel

THE BOOK OF THE ROAD

Out on A 61 for Ripon

Left at Ripley on B 6165

to Patley Bridge

Patley Bridge through Grassington

on B 6265, to connect

B 6160, through Kettlewell, Starbotton

and Buckden

Turn left at Buckden and follow

Lanstrothdale Chase to Hawes

(not numbered)

Hawes-Bainbridge on A 684, cross to

Askrigg and on (no number) to

Castle Bolton

Have lunch there?

Castle Bolton, over Redmire Moor to Reeth

Reeth into Arkengarthdale

Turn right beyond Langthwaite over

Scargill High Moor to meet A 66

Right again to B 6277, there left to

Barnard Castle

Allow time to see castle, medieval bridge and

inn where Dickens wrote Nicholas Nickleby

(so the Treasures book says) and esp.

Bowes Museum (if open??)

From Barnard Castle backtrack on B 6277

Watch for turn off (unnumbered) to

Egglestone Abbey

(Have tea there or in town?)

Then follow River Tees to get back to

A 66 for Greta Bridge (isnâ€™t that Dotheboys

Hall?)

Carry on A66 to Scotch Corner, down A 1

to turn off on A 59 through Knaresborough

NOTE: Roman road beyond Oughtershaw on way

to Hawes and site of fort at Bainbridge

From Greta Bridge A 66 follows a Roman

road (no name)

We may not read the same map twice,

especially where sands are on the move.

I speak loosely because thinking

not of a mapâ€™s ineptitude but of

some shiftless nature which is prior.

Maps merely feign to represent the case.

Shiftless? A shifty case, more like,

unsure in its election as well as

in its origin, oin its ground

of being as well as in its becoming â€“

neither works any way too well

for this instance. Are we not assuming

that what one has here to purport

to use as an example will survive

scrutiny? Somehow, has survived?

You follow me: I talk of what we have

and have not, of a sandhill lake

which comes and goes. Or maybe, came and went

since when I was last probing there

forestry men and engineers intent

on reform were then debating

how best to right an aberrant nature.

Their maps could not properly cope

with it. It was offence to natural

justice, natural right, and law.

It came and went. Worse, it was essential

when not existent. Boundaries

tentatively it had, often flouted.

It had? Check my legal fiction.

Rather, they had. Sometimes three lakes flaunted

themselves, sometimes two, or only

one, or none. Not only sands were on the move,

the lake dissolved, moved, reappeared,

will dwindle, again quicken. In remove

a presence, in presence a fact

substantial, insubstantial form

no less? This play with arid words,

dry as lake beds where cloudy midges swarm

until extinguished, the dunes made

to conform to rational order and

rabid, but useful, their surgent pines

established turn to increase wayward sand.

Something we know lost, gained by that.

Then how, best right aberrant nature?

Terms of reference not precise,

you guess, we may not read the same map twice.

REFERENCE

On the sheet in front of me on the wall

two sections of REFERENCE

The section on the left has

[SCAN]

with some other things about Main Electric Transmission lines,

Distribution lines, Conventional spacing, Wooden poles and Actual

positions

Pylons No

I am leaving out all signs for them, you understand? Also,

anything to do with telephones, tramways and the distinctions of

Principal from Smaller stations.

The section on the right has

Keys to bush, trees, plantations, scrub, scattered scrub, hedge

or short row of trees, fence (prominent), swamp, mangrove, drain,

sand, shingle, cliffs & terraces, stop bank, rocks, building,

church, cemetery, windmill, radio mast, additional clues for

trigonometrical stations with permanent signals, spot heights in

feet above mean sea level, sketch contours at 100Â´ intervals, and

bits about post and telegraph services. Outside the limits of the

code are two other notes, how to recognise a pa, and rock

outcrops with large boulders.

Given all that you should be able to operate

Within or without prescribed or designated limits.

You may yet have to go to the wall.

How was I ever able to find my way there?

HOW TO GET BACK BY MAGNETIC BEARINGS

True North, now, that is one thing.

This another, how to get back

(whenever that was magnetically drawn

to harbour. Instruct me, all I ask,

instruct me how â€“ this plus, or lack

as minus, evidently apply â€” to unmask

a not altogether dissembling

map? True, is true of false origin.

TO CONVERT A TO CONVERT A

MAGNETIC BEARING GRID BEARING TO A

TO A GRID BEARING MAGNETIC BEARING

ADD Gâ€“M ANGLE SUBTRACT Gâ€“M ANGLE

TO OBTAIN Gâ€“M ANGLE

add the Annual Magnetic Change

multiplied by the number of years

since 1965 to the Gâ€“M angle for 1965

1Â° = 60′

Annual Magnetic Change + 3Â´

Gâ€“M Angle for 1965 16Â°30Â´ for

the Central Grid Line of this sheet

You may not read the same map

twice. On such least point we may agree

without implying more. Or may we? Add or subtract,

somethingâ€™s still to be read as before

contemptuous of cartography

as of art or artâ€™s surrogates, its sniffling poor

relations which I ape, thumb at lip

lacking bearing, puerile seen-through act

so you say. As you say.

SYMBOLS

I cannot see our land clearly.

It comes and goes because covered with symbols.

Isnâ€™t this the symptom of a psychotic state?

Take England now. In England I was given

to hold in my hand a necessary guide to

SYMBOLS USED ON THE MAPS, to hold as I was driven.

â€˜O take fast holdâ€™ â€“ that’s Sidney, in CS 32.

Eleven different sections of symbols on one sheet,

twenty of them in one section. Hereâ€™s from

another:

Castle or house with interesting interior

Abbey, priory or other ecclesiastical

Building (usually in ruins)

Parish church

Castle or house in ruins

Archaeological monument

Garden (usually attached to private house)

Botanical gardens

Zoolological gardens

but no Interesting church. Interesting churches are

in Symbols Used on Town Plans, another section.

Another section, of another life.

Here I am told how to find a Frontier post

I shall go down to the river which may be

demented. I shall go on hoping to cross over.

Perhaps this is a frontier. We have crossed

frontiers before this.

Here is a sheet of paper. Write on it for me.

Go on, write on it. Why do you write No.?

What number do you mean?

LEGEND

this landscape landfall.

A map so new you wouldnâ€™t read about

it, a loop road which hadnâ€™t been built

in hill country Tokomaru Bay.

Way forward proved the way back.

Like a one track mind it pressed as far,

died under a mount, a none too significant

mound. So have we all, well truly spent.

Well, there was the mount. On its round

emphatic the bull, who rose to design.

His neck arched, the masculine pouch,

his weapon cooling, out to prove

that way forward is the way back

III

Where maps may need a change in legend for

this masculine landfall/`landscape

and seascape. Together, your un-

certainty in seeing, grit and spray

confronting or bedevilled, those dun

sands drove at berm and cliffs while away

in their distance sea leagues with

the landâ€™s league collogued were one,

classically distant. Could you well say

how far in space or time you were astray

from plainjane rivermouth, that plebeian

rivermouth beyond the quarry,

beyond the mundane?

On the wall

fronting me I pinned, years ago, a wry

black toro from a Spanish bottle

to further esemplastic

legendâ€™s proclivity

for becoming and there would do as well

as anywhere, near Mahimaiâ€™s burial

place. As chance worked, itâ€™s not very

far from the beach where (December

â€™69, was it?) the skyline

crests learned how to break with their severe

old puritan habit, its condign

bearing, stood â€“ preliterate,

hieratic â€“ risen clear

above confusion the young bulls in line,

preternaurally clear. They define

and redefine what you perhaps swear

is land that cannot wear mythâ€™s host

plausibly, an unlikely stock.

Surveyors missed them running out the coast

but legend needs. We are what dreams shock

briefly to become; this you heard

long since. Then where, at cost,

shall we amazed be forced to press the rock

channel deep, final, face him who will lock

and batten on us? Fictive, will most

prove fact? Way forward is way back

baffling to wayward plan or chart,

a maze the end and origin, track

not made good though trick you got by heart

sorely. I speak of the Minotaur

at the heart of us, the black

kruptos , that animates each crafty art?

All pay him tribute, kill him off, and start

to run his course again shiftless, bleak

as fallen masculine scape tumbled

Headlong. Sprawls, fold on fold. Heaves,

scarred hide. Promise still rides.

South and east they have fire by night

in their skies. Here, to the north a mast,

a television repeater station catches

signals. What sign/signal/symbol for

the Muse? Perhaps

on a hilltop a crossbred Jersey sire.

His progeny champ below, mouse-coloured

in their rat run. He bellows, hefts clods.

They caper excited, I am shit-scared

clinging then to one strand of No. 8

fencing wire the guard rail of a swing

bridge over a creek. Just discovered

that several planks ahead are missing.

The bulls come gathering either end and

as well as my pack thereâ€™s all the camera gear.

He bellows and buttocks. They collect, they dance.

We are offered, in season. In season

not at the dark heart, out in the open

VII

are taken, being promised. As/Was

Mahimai and probably Rutherford

(if that was his name) who disappeared

in a cloud of bullshit, who said he spent

ten years of himself back of Tokomaru.

That was the first season I went looking

for Maihimai and Rutherford, sidetracked

into hunting after graveyardsâ€™ wooden

headboards, their iconography lost style.

About them maps are reticent.

I swung between: a family burial ground,

And the Wesleyansâ€™ plot. With those boards

which we cannot read and the grave of

their millenarian teacher, Hekeâ€™s tohunga

Papahurihia. The vates? They deny

VIII

but we need more to the legend, and for

A QUESTION OF SCALE

To bring it all to scale, the given

is 1:63360, 1 inch to 1 mile,

and is outmoded.

That, given. Also false origin

is given as base from which we work, almost capable

until outmoded.

To bring it to scale. I was driven

or drove headlong, taking whatever a telltale dial

on an outmoded

dashboard said was nearly true of Then

and There, the literal. Metaphor too, and parable

long since outmoded.

March – April 77

Editor’s note

Reading the Maps an Academic Exercise : first published in Islands 24 (1978), 131; also In Stories About Wooden Keyboards and Selected Poems; KSâ€™ note in Stories reads: â€˜Mahimai is John Marmon, also known as Tiaki, the first and most notorious white settler in the Hokianga, who figures in various memoirs including his own. John Rutherfordâ€”which is almost certainly not his real nameâ€”was the once celebrated tattoed white man whose account of living with Maoris appeared in The New Zealanders (1830). I regard it as the first sustained piece of fiction about this countryâ€™; Daniel: Samuel Daniel (1562-1619), English poet and prose writer, author of Defence of Rhyme (1602); sandhill lake: see â€˜Tomarataâ€™; Tokomaru Bay: situated on East Coast of North Island, north of Gisborne; minotaur: in Greek myth, a monster, half man and half bull, offspring of Pasiphae and a bull; lived in the labyrinth, slain by Theseus; The Book of the Road>describes a specific journey in Yorkshire undertaken by KS in 1969

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